Technology

While I sit here waiting to get my nails done I found an app on my phone that allows me to blog from. Technology these days simply amaze me. I can't imagine how much more advanced we'll be by the time my babies are adults.

I may just blog more now that I can from the convenience of my phone.

our life.... right now

Chaotic. That is the only word I can use to explain our life right now. We have officially moved out of our condo – closing is today. The kids and I are staying at Grandma Char Char’s (as Caden likes to call her). Ryan and Mia are staying in our new house that is currently under construction, and our cat, Belle, is staying with a friend of a friend who may or may not give her a furr-ever home.

It took 2 ½ days to pack and 2 days for Ryan and his brother to move everything to a storage unit. Thankfully Ryan can now focus only on his job and the remodel of the new home. I already miss him and we’ve only spent 3 nights away from him already. Yesterday I only saw him for less than 30 seconds when he came to his mom’s house to grab a key to the new house (he had left his at the condo and had a truck load of items to take to the new house – which is now scattered about and in the way of him working.)

Caden is favoring his grandma over me when I discipline him and looks at her to save him when it’s time for bed. He is throwing a screaming fit when we walk in the room and consequently wakes up his sleeping sister. Once I get him calmed down I have to nurse Adisyn back to sleep. I’ve been falling sleep before Caden as he would prefer to stare at the ceiling and rub his nose with his lovey. Adisyn does not seem to notice the change. She is her normal, happy, fussy, teething self. Of course she is too little to understand anyway. Adisyn has not met any new milestones recently with the exception of her extreme interest in toys. When she gets mobile I’m going to have even fuller hands. She is so close to rolling over, but hasn’t done it quite on her own yet.

This morning I stopped at the new house to let Mia out. Poor girl. She is so stressed. I could hear her whining when I pulled up. She destroyed the blanket in her crate and peed in there. She never does this. After 20 minutes of coaxing her I finally was able to get her to pee outside and drink some water. She has not eaten in almost 2 days. I know this is an adjustment for her too, and I feel so bad.

My poor husband has been working his butt off between work, the new house and moving everything out of the corner. He has lost a lot of weight through all this and barely gets any sleep. He has a lot of pressure on him right now to get our house livable, so our family can be together again. I’ve never seen him work so hard before with little complaint. He is doing an amazing job on the house and it’s going to look gorgeous when it is completed. Before and after pictures will come once the house is finished.

The new home has 3 bedrooms, so if we can get Caden to sleep in his own room – EVERYONE will be sleeping in their own room including Adisyn. It’s a ranch, so no more stairs! We have a fenced in backyard and I’ll save 4 hours in drive time a week! That is HUGE.

It will all come together. It will all come together. Everyone will adjust.

Adisyn – if you ever read you mama’s blog and wonder why I didn’t blog as much when you were young…. It’s not because I didn’t have anything to say, it’s that life was VERY busy when you were born. I try to spend my time WITH you and your brother and NOT on the computer. Having two children makes any “mama-time” very limited, but I don’t mind because I love you and your brother with all my heart.

week one down...

I made it through my first week back to work. I'm not quite sure how I did it. I'm not going to sugar coat it. Going back to work sucked. Really bad. It was stressful, exhausting, and emotionally draining. I cried for two hours the first night I got home. I haven't cried since, but I want to every day. I miss my children and I miss being there for them. I miss putting Caden down for his naps, snuggling and nursing Adisyn, playing with Caden and seeing their smiles throughout the day.

By the time I get home from work I only have maybe 3 hours with them before it's bed time. I feel like I'm letting them down by not being with them longer. It sucks. Really bad.

I'm not sure how I feel about my job anymore. I'm thankful I have a job to support us and provide us with medical insurance, but it still sucks. Working on my career profile was tough. "Where do you see yourself in the next 18 months, 3-5 years, 10 years?" I wanted to answer "all I want is to be a SAHM". Clearly I couldn't respond with that, but I still had NO idea. I have no career goals right now. I have no intentions of moving into another department right now. I have a great boss who is flexible and I don't want to loose that flexibility while my children are still young. *sigh* So my answer "N/A". I'm meeting with my boss next week and I'm just going to be completely honest about how I feel. What else can I do?

As for Caden and Adisyn adjusting? I think they did fairly well. I did not get any complaints from my mother-in-law or Tammy, so that's a good sign right? Not that they ever complain anyway!

Caden has his two top incisors coming in and now he has come down with a cold. Here's to hoping he gets better before week two.

our 5th anniversary

Today is our 5 year anniversary! I cannot believe Ryan and I have been married for 5 years now and together for almost 7 years. Insane, but just absolutely wonderful. I think of where we started and through all our troubles and where we are now.

I have the most amazing, loving, strong husband I could ever ask for. He is my rock, my partner, my friend, my lover, my life.

I could not imagine my life without him, and I am so thankful he chose me to be his wife.

happy halloween and more!

Happy Halloween! Isn't my little turtle just adorable?! It was Caden's first year trick-or-treating. He did so great and we are so proud of him. We took him over to Ryan's brother's house for an evening of fun. We made it all the way around the block and probably would have kept going, but Mommy and Daddy were cold. Caden held his bag and a few times said "tank you" even if it was after we walked down the driveway.

I cannot believe how much our lil man has changed since last Halloween.

6 months old....

1 year later at 18 months old...



Caden's cousins just love him to pieces. It's quite wonderful to watch them together. Although I couldn't manage to get a photo of the three of them, I was able to get Ethan and Christian together.

Off to start trick or treating with Daddy and Mommy trailing behind..

With falling back an hour after Halloween it felt a little out of place going out while it was still light outside. I did enjoy it much better as you could actually see the kids Halloween costumes. We did have a fun filled evening and Mommy and Daddy now have bag of candy to enjoy :)

::

Friday was the start of my 28th week - 7 months and the start of my 3rd trimester. I cannot believe I'm in my last trimester and Adisyn will be here in 12 weeks. It's amazing how fast this pregnancy has gone by. It does make me sad that this will most likely be my last pregnancy. It was a rough go in the beginning with all the morning sickness, but I'm trying to enjoy every last minute of it. I would love to have a third child, but with costs of having a child it is just not in the books for us. Unless of course we win the lottery!

I've been feeling pretty good except for some lower front abdominal pressure that landed me in labor and delivery last Tuesday to get checked out. Everything turned out just fine, thankfully. The doctor believes the baby could have been laying in an awkward spot or most likely that I did not drink enough fluids. I'm keeping water with me at ALL times now.

I'm really looking forward to meeting our little girl in January. She is going to be just perfect.

::

On a final note - Happy birthday to my wonderful and amazing husband! I love him so VERY much and I am so grateful for him. I hope he is enjoying his day of golf out with his buddies. It turned out to be a nicer day - even though it's still a little cool.

Status Report-Beginning of September 2009

At some point during the first few months of Caden's life I came across this blog while researching a delayed vaccine schedule. She has a lot of good information on the subject if you want to head over there. Anyway, she had an fun blog idea that I believe originated from this blog Fun, right?
Or maybe it is that I'm just bored right now and this sounded like fun.

Who knows, but either way......

Status Report-Beginning of September 2009

Sitting. . . at my computer desk (at work or at home... does it really matter?)

Drinking. . . Water!

Moving. . . too much these days. I'm always on top of Caden keeping him out of trouble.

Reflecting. . . on how fast time has gone by since we had Caden. I cannot believe he is 16 months old already.... walking and saying some words... He was so tiny and now he is a little toddler.

Planning. . . not much.... but much planning is in our near future.

Looking forward to. . . my mom flying in to visit at the end of this month. I can't wait!

Wanting. . . to have a night alone with my husband, so we can go out on a date and actually hear ourselves talk to each other without any distractions.

Hoping. .. that everything falls into place and that my Aunt fights her battle against ovarian cancer.
Regretting. . . that I did not get to eat ice cream today.

Glad. . . that I have a four day weekend.

Surprised. . . at how much more energy I've had these last couple of weeks. I'm tired, but not to the point where I want to fall face forward into the ground.

Studying. . . I'm not.

Frustrated. . . with trying to find a home that will suit our family's needs at an affordable price.

Not sure. . . if I ever want to do a status update again. It's seems kind of long.

Eager. . . to look at a beautiful home on Tuesday, but I don't want to be let down.

Enjoying. . . life and this pregnancy.

Missing. . . my parents. I wish they did not live so far away.

Bummed. . . that my husband has to work on Monday. I was looking forward to spending some extra time with him this weekend.

Wordless Wednesday

What kind of July is this?

Do you notice anything strange about this picture that was taken today?

All bundled up in fall attire and it's suppose to be July?! The clouds in the back and the wind reminded me of late September. I will admit it is nicer than the hot sun when pregnant. We were going to take Caden to the park, but it looked like it was going to rain. Instead we took him over to the common area in our complex to run around and visit our swans.

He found some paper on the ground and gave it to Daddy to throw way.

Happy as can be just walking around with his Daddy.

I think someone looks a little mischievous in this picture. Don't you think?

Remember this post about my swans? Apparently I forgot to update when the eggs finally hatched. It was only a few days after we got home from our vacation. They are just little fuzz balls here. They even made our local paper last month.

Now look at them! They bigger fuzz balls! I can't believe how fast they've grown. (Like all babies I guess). I imagine they'll be leaving us soon and heading for the lake across the street.

The Daddy is sitting behind them as usual. He is VERY protective. Although he didn't seemed bothered that we were there, we still didn't get too close.

And Mommy - she is so beautiful!

Reflecting back...

I’ve been reminiscing in my head lately about our life before Caden. Even though it was a short time ago it feels like a lifetime ago. If that makes sense. I remember our only “priority” (besides work of course) was trying to figure out what we would do on the weekend. Which of our friends we would hang out with, what bar we would go to, what to wear, what movie we would see, ect. Life was simple, but not all that interesting. Although I am glad that Ryan and I waited to have children, so we could figure out the whole marriage thing – I would not ever want to go back to life before Caden. Our lives our hectic now. Our heads spin, we forget to do things, our home isn’t as tidy, there is more laundry, dirty diapers, a baby teething who doesn’t want to sleep. Even through all that our lives are fulfilling. We are happier than we ever could imagine. Seriously, how couldn't we be happier - just look at this face..

Reason I love being a mom....

Of course there are more than five reasons I love being a mom. I’m just narrowing it down to five. I thought this blog topic was a GREAT idea after reading my friend Kel’s post on her blog. I probably will not be able to convey this as well as Kel did, but I will surely do my best.

My favorite moment with Caden that l look forward to EVERY day is after Caden’s night time bottle. After he drinks his bottle he cuddles into me while rocking in the glider. He has been doing this since I believe 6-7 months old. Now he is a little bigger, so I have to lift his butt up on my arm while he lays his head on my shoulder for our night time cuddle. It takes all I have to lay him down in his crib. I wish I could crawl in there with him and fall asleep. All the troubles from the day just fade away.

His contagious laugh brings just pure joy to everyone around. He has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. I could never have imagined how much joy your child could bring to your life. I could not say it better than the quote Kel mentioned in her post: We are supposed to teach children about life, but they teach us what life is really about. Ironically this quote is in my header made by my friend Christa!

The excitement I see in Caden’s face when I pick him up after work makes my heart just melt. There are some days I swear he is going to pee his pants when I walk in the door. The last few days he starts chanting “Doggy, Doggy, Doggy”, and I have to remind him that I’m ma-ma and not the doggy. (Cracks me up every time.)

Watching him discover new things is another favorite. I remember a few months ago when he was learning about spatial objects. We gave Caden a sports bottle to play with. He would put his plastic balls in there and then pull the bottle close up to his eye. He almost looked confused wondering how on earth those balls could fall into the bottle and then stay in there. Then of course he would cry because he wanted the balls out.

I love how Caden and all babies, for that matter, are so blissfully unaware of the world. I wish at times I could be in his state of mind; to be so unaware and untouched. He is innocent and has committed no sins. He is so pure and still in his natural state of being. If we could only be in our natural state of being for our entire earthy life...

I love being a mom for SO many reasons. I would not change it for the world. THIS is the BEST chapter of my life - being a wife and a mother.

Our "love fern"

Have you ever seen that movie "How to Loose a Guy in 10 days" with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey? Kate (I cannot remember her screen name) is writing an article in a magazine how what women do wrong that send the men they are dating running. At some point in the movie she brings all of her belongings including a plant in which she calls their "love fern".

During the first month Ryan and I were dating I flew down to visit my parents for Christmas. Every visit my mom always takes to me a local flea market where I buy a new bamboo plant. That year was my first bamboo. I do not have many any plants other than my bamboos since I cannot seem to keep them alive for the life of me.

The bamboo plant you see in the picture below has been alive for almost 7 1/2 years! Not only has it been alive that long it is turning into the giant's beanstalk! It used to be only a little taller than the smaller bamboo that is also in the vase. Ryan just went out today to buy the second stake to hold it up (or else it just plops right over). It has to be almost 4 feet tall. Needless to say, I call this special bamboo our "love fern".

How tall could this "love fern" possibly grow? We do have a 15 foot cathedral ceiling in our living room, so I suppose it has some room to grow.

On another note, Caden turned 13 months old today. This last month seem to go by a little slower than all the rest of his months leading up to the big one. Can you believe I did not take any pictures today? I will make up for it this week. We had a nice productive yet lazy weekend. Caden stayed in his jammies all day Saturday and Sunday and so did I.

The nest is built!

The swans in our pond laid their eggs! The following day after I posted this post I saw one of the swans sitting on a next they built. I was so psyched! I get a little too excited over these swans every year. I remember last year I was so crushed when mom, dad and all the baby swans were gone. I thought maybe our association had a company come in and relocate them, but Ryan says they headed over to the big water across the street.

In a few short weeks I'll have pictures of the "ugly" ducklings!

Although the nest is built right up to the gate around the pond that butts up to the sidewalk, I tried not to get too close.

One keeping the babes warm....



and the other taking a leisurely swim....

Just. Beautiful.

Thank you, Christa!!!

Personality Type

Usually I am not interested in these types of test, but I thought I would give it a whirl.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

After taking the test it states I am an ISFJ. I am actually in shock how much of the detail fits me to a T. It is possible that I am relating some of the details to some specific struggles in my life right now, but still.....

http://www.personalitypage.com/high-level.html

The Nurturer

As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.

ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.

ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.

ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.

ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.

The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.

More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. (This was not always me) If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.

Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.

The ISFJ feels a strong sense of responsibility and duty. They take their responsibilities very seriously, and can be counted on to follow through. For this reason, people naturally tend to rely on them. The ISFJ has a difficult time saying "no" when asked to do something, and may become over-burdened. In such cases, the ISFJ does not usually express their difficulties to others, because they intensely dislike conflict, and because they tend to place other people's needs over their own. The ISFJ needs to learn to identify, value, and express their own needs, if they wish to avoid becoming over-worked and taken for granted.

ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right".

The ISFJ is warm, generous, and dependable. They have many special gifts to offer, in their sensitivity to others, and their strong ability to keep things running smoothly. They need to remember to not be overly critical of themselves, and to give themselves some of the warmth and love which they freely dispense to others.

Night out on the town

On Saturday I made a last minute decision to go out. Ryan’s younger brother is in town from the Navy and I imagine won’t see much of him when he leaves as he’ll be stationed in Hawaii. I tired from the rough night with Caden and it is SO hard to leave him overnight. I know my MIL takes great care of him, but I just have a hard time being away from him. I always feel like something is missing. Naturally.

I’m glad I went though. We all had a really nice time. It was nice to get out and talk amongst adults, have a few drinks and laugh. We didn’t get home until after 2am and I was up at 6am and then 7:30am – just couldn’t sleep. So, I’m paying for it now. It’s Monday and I’m still paying for it. Caden didn’t sleep well last night either, so as usual I’m sleepy. I’m pretty much used to be tired now except I hate that feeling where you feel like you need toothpicks to keep your eyes open.

It turns out I forgot to pack something extremely important for my baby.Bottles. How the eff do you forgot to bring bottles? MIL had to run to Meijer at 1:30am. Not only did I feel just awful about that – I felt like a bad mom for forgetting something so important. Sometimes I feel like I have no brains left these days.
Here are a few pictures from our night out. Ignore the dufis who got in the way of a really nice picture of Ryan and me.